Every June, when the weather is hot and dragonflies hover all around, willows cast shadows and Father’s Day comes along, bringing its cool wind and fatherly love.
People say that one can only understand their parents when they become one themselves - and on this Father’s Day, we’ll hear the voice of a father who has an autistic child.
“Growing up in the countryside with little time spent at school, I was a young chap who used to follow his own will. Then, in 2013, my first child was born - like a dear angel. He was so cute that I swore I would give him everything I could, I was so thrilled and I loved him so much. Since then, I feel that I have grown-up. No matter what I do, I think if it benefits my family and my son, which I guess is what people call “responsibility”.
Then, five years later, my second son came along. My family of four made me the happiest man in the world, but I guess destiny got jealous and threw me a challenge. When my younger son turned one, I found out that he had some trouble listening, so I got worried. After checking in the hospital, I was stricken by the diagnosis: suspected Autism Spectrum Disorder - the ASD. “What is that?” I had never heard of it nor thought it would affect my child. However, the facts finally beat me. It is a developmental disability that is incurable. After nights of struggling, I decided that, despite his illness, I would always love him and help him to become independent.
However, this hasn’t been easy. As time went on, I’ve found that my youngest son can get very sentimental at night, sometimes waking-up crying. At times like that I felt guilty and I question myself about what I have done wrong and what should I do to make him happy. After watching Ocean Heaven, the movie in which a father with cancer tries to take care of his autistic son, I realized that I wasn’t as optimistic as I thought, and I became overwhelmed by anxiety and panic; when I get old, how will I look after my son? Without my help, can he fit in society?
Such panic comes and goes. Sometimes I feel helpless as a father, and though it’s difficult, I do my best to offer him a safe and sound life. If I’m not strong, then how can I teach him to be brave? Until today, these two extreme mental states still preoccupy me in turn. But I know I have to hold on and be strong for my kids and for my family.”
These are the words of a father of a child with ASD, and whilst it doesn’t have a happy ending like other stories, we believe that readers will be touched by the love of this father, and pray for the best for him and his family.
Holding the philosophy “Love play, learn”, at Hape, we believe that “love” is an essential part of any childhood, and we fully support the rehabilitation and training of autistic children. In 2016, Hape visited 7 schools for autistic students, donating toys and spreading joy within the facilities, and since 2018, Hape has kept in close contact with Beilun Yangguang School for Children with ASD, organizing various donations and activities, and offering psychological guidance for students and their families. We hope that through our efforts, more and more fathers like the one in this article will feel encouraged and supported, and we also call for more attention and support, as with your tolerance and help, we can build a better tomorrow.